she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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