I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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