OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
where am i from again
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
