this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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