He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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