So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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