Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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