Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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