So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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