can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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