I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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