dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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