Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
