Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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