you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
