Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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