She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
