i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
