y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize