Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
