You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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