A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
