i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
