i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
