Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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