WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
