I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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