I puked a lego.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
