i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
