there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
