Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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