You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have post one night stand depression
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
