It's just like the Real World with babies
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
