Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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