i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We need to get me chipped asap
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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