loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
