I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
