i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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