oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
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The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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