I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
