My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
