Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
