If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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