i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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