i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
