How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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