Do you still have your period?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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