Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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