dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize