Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
