just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Can you bring me the toilet please
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
