I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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