Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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