She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
