): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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