come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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