So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
