please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
