She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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