i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
