come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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