He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
