Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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