You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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