I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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