i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
