Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
