you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The adults are the big ones right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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