I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
