Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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