You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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