I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
